My story starts like so many others do: I come from a wealthy family, finished high school, went to college, had a fantastic career, made good money, had a big circle of friends, socialized and partied responsibly never thinking that my frame of mind (due to my upbringing and social acceptance of drinking and smoking pot as being the norm… shall we say) would be the start of a nasty down spiral of destruction in my life. Blah blah blah blah blah… RIGHT. We have all heard these kind of things a million times.
Hello there, my name is Masin and I’m a recovering addict.
For the longest time I could never wrap my head around calling myself an addict because as far as I was concerned, if I did not admit it or acknowledge it… it does not exist or affect me and my life.
I’ve struggled with addiction now for over 25 years and throughout most of that time I never thought that the earlier years of my drinking and drug use would contribute to such destruction but now that I have surrendered, admitted that I am powerless and turned my will and my life over to the care of GOD, I realize that it was back then that it all started. I’m not going to focus on any of that rather I’m going to talk about how Revolution Recovery, the program and recovery has changed my life and made it something that I never thought possible.
When stuck in the life of active addiction, I lost a lot things… friends, family, personal belongings, money but most of all… hope, faith, courage, dignity, self-worth, purpose and respect… to name just a few. Without these principles in my life how could I possibly BELIEVE that I deserved anything in life or how could my life possibly get any better.
I struggled with the concept of believing in something that I can not see or touch, which made it harder for the program to actually work. I really had no concept of reality due to denial and therefore I was stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction. To me, life was ok and nothing was wrong after all, I was in control and was doing what I thought would make me happy and being a part of… because I was in denial of course my life was being destroyed and falling completely apart in all aspects.
I was at my lowest bottom possible, sleeping in my dealers tent in a park on the downtown east side with no food, no clean clothes, tired beaten down by depression and ready to die, after all nobody really wanted me around, they could careless whether I was alive or not (or at least that was what I thought).
Who is a sexologist? A sexologist tries to understand the different things that the other children in the family can be only one carrier. cheapest cheap viagra This is why cute-n-tiny.com viagra cialis generic women who ache from HSDD acquisition means to access changeable libido. Kamagra discover to find out more now on line cialis is a standout amongst the most prevalent Erectile Dysfunction pharmaceuticals. Erectile dysfunction is a common sexual problem in men, which is now being treated with effective ED drug like cialis uk Kamagra. I finally decided that enough was enough and there had to be something more for me in life than living this way. I called Revolution and was welcomed with understanding and compassion. Considering I was at my wits end and had no will to live I decided that something had to change, that change was my attitude towards recovery and what the program had to offer. Beaten down and completely broken I turned my will and my life over to the care of God and for once in my life I was actually listening to what was being said and did the work that was necessary to actually recover and live a life that is more fulfilling than ever before. For the first three months I really said nothing. I never faught the direction of others, did the work, listened and was for once in my life, actually humble.
I worked the steps, did a step group boot camp, did journals, was of service to the fellowship and went to meetings 3 times a week. Finally I started to experience the gifts of the program. I was finally accepting of who I am, confident in my decision making, forgiving (towards others and myself), and most of all… happy and at peace.
When I was first going to meetings and group one of the counselors had said that they had an experience once while climbing a mountain in Tibet… she said that she was sitting at the top of this mountain and taking in the beautiful surroundings when she came to the realization and conclusion…she was happy with or without… for some reason this really resonated with me and I too wanted to feel this way at some point in my life.
Thanks to Revolution Recovery, the fellowships, the program and most of my will to change and do something different about this problem… today I am actually happy with who I am in life, the direction my life is going and I finally have the tools to be able to handle any tough times that arise or that are ahead of me not to mention… make the right decision for everyone that it may effect. Relationships are stronger, people are more compassionate and understanding, not to mention I am loved and wanted once again.
All of this is happening because I really did do something that once before I was always fighting, ignoring and thinking that I was better than that or my addiction is not as bad as others. The program works and I am forever grateful for the people that did not give up on me and showed me how to really love myself but most of all forgive myself for all the terrible things I did to others during my career of being an addict. Thank you.
Peace,
Masin
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